I've decided to start looking for a part time babysitter for my 2 lovely chi!
Question: Please state your name, qualifications, and conditions of your parole.
Answers: Please state your name, qualifications, and conditions of your parole.
My name? Jose Jimenez.
Qualifications: The laws of physics do not apply to me. The laws of the State of Utah do apply to me, but I have never been there so it doesn't count. I have a master's degree in knitting and a doctorate in aluminum foil graffiti.
My parole officer is missing and presumed to have joined Doctors Without Borders, which is what I told the nice detectives. The conditions of my parole include no longer selling children on the black market. Now I am strictly eBay.
And I need the stickers.
lol!
i have 2 children
and cannot handle sharp objects
if ur in tucson az i'll watch em!!!
i love baby sitting =] i babysit kids all the time
and my lil bro all the time
but well first off, u probably dont live near me. two, idk if i can trust u since ur from the internet and well yeah thats bout it
silly.:)
where do you live? =/
... stay away Michael Jackson!
Sorry got the ankle bracelet cannot leave the premises.
I would love that job.
My name is The Iron Fist (that's what the parole dude calls me...he's so hot)
No qualifications...
I am not allowed to go outside. That is the only condition of my parole ;)
So....did I get the job?
Kevin
Demon Hunter
i can juggle babies, i play guitar and sing children songs
i cant be within 50 ft of the pope.
Karen
Mother of the year 1992-1995
I regret to inform you I can no longer be around children!
Happy Trees
Got two of my own.
I am not allowed near flammable objects or 7-11's.
Ethel Mertz
I have experience with children. I was a teacher but got fired for making out with my 17 year old student Richard Ricardo
Paroled for being drunk and disorderly whilst wearing a clown costume at a child's birthday party
My name is Bonnie humpanut
I can beat one child into submission while washing dishes with the other hand and kick another one straight into a brick wall. i have a very firm throat choke hold and bite damn hard.
I was just let out for solicitation, drug driving, drugs, theft and violation of a restraining order in 18 counties.
I feel I am the best women for the job, trust me your kids will be so good you wont even know they are alive....
Kristen: I like My Little Ponies and I don't stick them in naughty places - I bite my fingernails, so I would never scratch the kids - I think children's Benadryl is awesome - I'm a Mario Party expert - I babysat DIngelbury's son once.
I'm not on parole, just probation which is much classier, I must say.
Paula Poundstone
former comedienne
Paroled for being drunk and lewd around my adopted children
Heck now I want to hire pimpster spitty, she sounds hot!
Nerdy
I halfass take care of a three year old for a living. By that I mean, I make sure he doesn't injure himself.....too bad. Or bad enough to leave noticible markings.
No parole. I served my time.
References available on request.
I'm Bob Newhart, a reknowned psychologist in private practice. I also have a second residence in Vermont that I employ as a bed and breakfast. I do not have any current parole restrictions....but I do have a throng of unstable,immature people who require a great deal of attention from me .... adding a couple of kids to the mix should be no problem.
edit: You must give dashing geek the BA for reaching back and pulling the Bill Dana reference out. Bill Dana .... funniest guy that nobody remembers.
I'm GCG.
I once fell asleep with Supernanny on the TV, so I'm pretty sure I absorbed some info... plus I have never knowingly put a child on or near an open flame.
Schools are kind of "off limits" for me after a severely over-hyped situation involving firecrackers, so if they're school-age, you'll need to leave cab fare.
Ashley Roseanna Combs
My 5 year old:
knows the words to, at least, 3 Gong songs,
has really white, healthy teeth,
and is really good at video games.
I'm a good girl, thank you very much.
Don't look at me...
Your ginger kids scare the begeezus outa' me...