Parents: Are you ready? I love my kids, but..............?!


Question: here's my favorite quotes on raising them. Share yours, plz?

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck

Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
John Wilmot

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
Roseanne Barr

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Red Buttons

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why -- he does
Joey Adams

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.


Answers: here's my favorite quotes on raising them. Share yours, plz?

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck

Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
John Wilmot

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
Roseanne Barr

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Red Buttons

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why -- he does
Joey Adams

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

I have a weighty tome entitled "Fourteen Thousand Quips and Quotes" - there are approx 140 under the chapters of "Children" and "Child Training". How long have you got?
As an ex-sufferer (kids have emigrated) they are mostly too true to be comfortable!!
I'll give you a few - if you want more, e-mail me!
"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your kids to do it"
"Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the family car"
"One advantage of the compact car is that when any of the kids start acting up they can be reached by hand"
"A baby sitter is not experienced until she knows which kid to sit with and which kid to sit on"
"Children always brighten up the house - they never turn off the lights"
"Children who are reared in homes of poverty have only two mealtime choices - take it or leave it"
"An unusual child is one who asks his parents questions they can answer"
"Many juvenile delinquents are youngsters who have been given a free hand, but not in the proper place"

lol....All true enough!

Lifes a box of chocolates and my girl Skye is the best one in the box

Oh, I have 3 kids and no money; why can't have no kids and 3 money? -- Homer Simpson

I like the first one and the last one best.

very good lol , i like the Bill Cosby quote ..haha

I child proofed my house but the children keep getting in.

I have no clue who this is by..



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