What is your honest opinion about this poem?!


Question: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO US?
By: Joab "The Teacher"

We are the people of darkness and fog,
you won't see us in Dockers, or out for a jog.

We don't live in your suburbs, or hang out in your bars,
We don't listen to Kenny G, or drive flashy cars.

We aren't drinking a six-pack while watching pro sports,
or riding a lawn tractor in bright-colored shorts.

When we were young, your friends were all cool;
We were the other kids, in the shadows at school.

Some of you taunted us, (some of you feared),
you said we were uncool, ugly, and weird.

Did you befriend us? Ha! Not even a chance;
We're not the ones who got asked to the dance.

Now that we're older, and you've settled down,
we still see you sometimes, when you come downtown.

So you've found religion, now isn't that swell?
Now you're all jazzed up on Heaven and Hell.

You're on a new mission, the Goth-Folk to save,
to snatch us from darkness, on the way to the grave.


Answers: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO US?
By: Joab "The Teacher"

We are the people of darkness and fog,
you won't see us in Dockers, or out for a jog.

We don't live in your suburbs, or hang out in your bars,
We don't listen to Kenny G, or drive flashy cars.

We aren't drinking a six-pack while watching pro sports,
or riding a lawn tractor in bright-colored shorts.

When we were young, your friends were all cool;
We were the other kids, in the shadows at school.

Some of you taunted us, (some of you feared),
you said we were uncool, ugly, and weird.

Did you befriend us? Ha! Not even a chance;
We're not the ones who got asked to the dance.

Now that we're older, and you've settled down,
we still see you sometimes, when you come downtown.

So you've found religion, now isn't that swell?
Now you're all jazzed up on Heaven and Hell.

You're on a new mission, the Goth-Folk to save,
to snatch us from darkness, on the way to the grave.

well i really like it, it's very true.

It's really really long.
I liked the first 6 paragraphs, or stanzas or whatever though. :)
I read like 20 stanza things but It got to old for my age it felt like xD. Sorry.
Thought it was very impressive though :]

This a middling poem. Slangy and a little bumpy in the rhythm at places, but alright for the style. Don't forget homophones and don't sacrifice meaning for rhymes.
I like the message; which brings to mind another point: great poetry is only written without an agenda. The rest can only climb so high.

could you be any more emo????



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