Is this a good short book? Pleaseee read!?!


Question: Perfection is in your heart
Chapter 1:Princess of Popularaty
Jen played with her buttons,listening to what Jake was telling her. "We've been dating for so long and...." "Forget it!" Jen interupted. She ran
around the corner,stepping beside Brianna. "What's wrong with you!?!?,"she asked wiping Jen's tears,and brushed her brown hair behind her ear,
so she could see Jen's face."Jake dumped me,"Jen said,choking on her tears."Whatever,Jen,he is a jerk!"Brianna said watching boys walk around
the corner."Look,I got to go,sorry,"Jen looked angry,as she walked around the corner.She saw Jake kissing a long,tan skinned,skinny,blonde,girl.
Her name was Katie,she was very popular."I knew it,"her voice light,but loud enough for Jake and Katie to hear.They grabbed their belongings
and walked in front of her.Jen ran,she ran to a bench.Finally it was the end of the day,Jen lie in bed,she hadn't ate the rest of the day.Four days
passed,not one thing did Jen eat.She was trying to get Jake mad,she wanted to be skinnier,like Katie.She was doing so good,until she was forced
to eat. Her mother made her,there was no way out.So a week later,she tried again,without eating a thing.This time it was 5 days,without food.
Chapter 2:Head Hit and Hospitalized
Jen had gotten used to not eating,in fact, she lost 4 pounds already."Crap,"Jen sighed to herself.She got up to sharpen her pencil,slowly she
rose from her seat. She then was on her way to her seat again.Crash. The fall caused everyone to look in the back of the room.When Jen awoke,
she lay in a bed,a hospital bed.She opened her eyes more,she saw four upset faces staring back.Brianna took a tissue from the box and wiped her
eyes. The doctor smiled,impressed to see her eyes. "Doctor,what's wrong with her?"Jake asked flawlessly."Oh no,"he said looking at the x-rays.
"What's wrong!"Brianna yelled standing up."It seems...that....Jen,has cancer,"he said shaking his head.
Chapter 3:Running from Life
Jen cried for hours with Brianna. The next day would be when Jen would have to go to get her stitches checked. She had stitches in her head for
about a three weeks now,three weeks from when Jen cracked her head open,when she passed out,when she awoke in the hospital. She appeared in
the hospital door with Brianna two hours later. The stitches were taken out. Then she was shaved,she was bald,no hair. She would have to go to the
hospital the next week to get her cancer checked. It was cancer alright,"I'm sorry ma'am,"replied Dr. McLoughin,telling Jen the news. Jen was
scared,scared to death.She wore a pink newsboy hat,with jean capris,a white long sleeve with a pink tank top over,and pink sandles.She slowly
ran out the door.She held the big sack of her things and gave a big hard sigh.She walked on the side of the rode,past the school,and past the big
mountains.She stopped at a small,tan,and rather big yarded,house.She sighed again,as she tapped on the door.Katie's big wide eyes searched
Jen's bald head."Your bald! Hahahahaha!"She said slamming the door. Jen was very upset,but she knocked louder on the door this time.Katie
opened it,"What do you want bald eagle?"She insulted again.She may have been pretty,but she was as rude as ever!Jen's smaller eyes glanced up at
Katie,her beautiful face looking down at her. "I had enough of your crap,"Jen snapped back,"I have cancer," "Awww,poor baby!I have a hang-nail,
get over it!" Katie said looking behind herself at the living room.Jen handed her a note,then walked backwards. "Bye,"Jen sadly said.
Chapter 4:The Note
Katie held the note in her hands.She glanced out the door once more,then shut it. "Look,Jen gave me a note,pathetic,"Katie gave a cold smile.
"Leave her alone!" "Make me!" Jake stood up and looked at Katie."I don't know what I saw in you,but obvioustly it wasn't your heart,"Jake cried,
and opened the door."Don't leave,please!"Katie grasped his hand,and held it tightly."I'm leaving,"He twisted the handle and pulled."Jake please!"\
Katie called as he walked out the door.Katie shut the door with her back,and opened the note.It read,"Dear Katie,I hope you and I will get over this,
I hate to see either one of us hurt.Unfortunatly,someone will be hurt.Me.I know you don't like me very well,but if you'd like to come.Come to the
hospital.That would be great! Love,Jen""I will Jen,I promise with all my heart,I will be there!" Katie said closing the note,and held it to her
heart."I will Jen,I will now be a better person,for you,I swear Jen,I will,Just for you,"Katie sniffled and went to go buy something for Jen.
Chapter 5:Brianna's House
Jen finally reached her destination,Brianna's house.That is where she would be living,breathing,eating,and sleeping. Her parents wouldn't care,
they are just drunkies,who never cared about Jen. Brianna's eyes welcomed Jen. "Hey Jen,something wrong?" were Brianna's first words to Jen.
"No,I'm just tired,"Jen said shifting her bag on the right.The last thing Jen could remember was sleeping.When she awoke from her sleep,she
got dressed and headed for the road.Brianna would be meeting her there,at the hospital.Jen inhailed,and exhailed,inhailed,and exhailed.
Unfortunatly,it happened to fast.Before Jen knew it,she was having a heart attack,right there,on the side of the road.When she awoke again,she
was on a hospital bed,tubes in her noes,five faces staring down.Brianna looked down,tears in her eyes. Katie,also crying,put a pink bracelett on
Jen's wrist.Doctors were watching Jen,making sure she was breathing.
Chapter 6:Jake's last words
Jake looked down at Jen,lying in the hospital bed.He bent down and gave her a kiss,not much of a first kiss to remember.Jake looked at her,teary
eyed.He slowly reached in his pocket,pulling out a necklace.He put it on Jen,and said "Jen".She opened her eyes as if to say "Yeah?" "Listen Jen,I
know I have been a jerk,an idiot,but I'm really sorry,and I love you,and you are already perfect,I would never want you to change,All that
matters is your heart.And you know what?Your heart,is perfect.Please forgive me...please!"Beeeeeeep. That beeeep was the end.The end of a young
child's life.That child was and always will be remembered.
Chapter 7:Alexis
"She was the best sister in the whole wide world!" "Do,you miss her?" asked Billy."Well of course I do!"Alexis said."When did she,you know,pass
away?"Asked Sarah."Well actually,she "passed away" when Jake said that he loved her,and that she was perfect!"Alexis replied."So who was the
fifth and fourth person everytime they went to the hospital?" Asked Tiffany."That was actually me!"Alexis said happily.

~*~*~This is for People with Cancer,and for sister that lost their sister~*~*~


Answers: Perfection is in your heart
Chapter 1:Princess of Popularaty
Jen played with her buttons,listening to what Jake was telling her. "We've been dating for so long and...." "Forget it!" Jen interupted. She ran
around the corner,stepping beside Brianna. "What's wrong with you!?!?,"she asked wiping Jen's tears,and brushed her brown hair behind her ear,
so she could see Jen's face."Jake dumped me,"Jen said,choking on her tears."Whatever,Jen,he is a jerk!"Brianna said watching boys walk around
the corner."Look,I got to go,sorry,"Jen looked angry,as she walked around the corner.She saw Jake kissing a long,tan skinned,skinny,blonde,girl.
Her name was Katie,she was very popular."I knew it,"her voice light,but loud enough for Jake and Katie to hear.They grabbed their belongings
and walked in front of her.Jen ran,she ran to a bench.Finally it was the end of the day,Jen lie in bed,she hadn't ate the rest of the day.Four days
passed,not one thing did Jen eat.She was trying to get Jake mad,she wanted to be skinnier,like Katie.She was doing so good,until she was forced
to eat. Her mother made her,there was no way out.So a week later,she tried again,without eating a thing.This time it was 5 days,without food.
Chapter 2:Head Hit and Hospitalized
Jen had gotten used to not eating,in fact, she lost 4 pounds already."Crap,"Jen sighed to herself.She got up to sharpen her pencil,slowly she
rose from her seat. She then was on her way to her seat again.Crash. The fall caused everyone to look in the back of the room.When Jen awoke,
she lay in a bed,a hospital bed.She opened her eyes more,she saw four upset faces staring back.Brianna took a tissue from the box and wiped her
eyes. The doctor smiled,impressed to see her eyes. "Doctor,what's wrong with her?"Jake asked flawlessly."Oh no,"he said looking at the x-rays.
"What's wrong!"Brianna yelled standing up."It seems...that....Jen,has cancer,"he said shaking his head.
Chapter 3:Running from Life
Jen cried for hours with Brianna. The next day would be when Jen would have to go to get her stitches checked. She had stitches in her head for
about a three weeks now,three weeks from when Jen cracked her head open,when she passed out,when she awoke in the hospital. She appeared in
the hospital door with Brianna two hours later. The stitches were taken out. Then she was shaved,she was bald,no hair. She would have to go to the
hospital the next week to get her cancer checked. It was cancer alright,"I'm sorry ma'am,"replied Dr. McLoughin,telling Jen the news. Jen was
scared,scared to death.She wore a pink newsboy hat,with jean capris,a white long sleeve with a pink tank top over,and pink sandles.She slowly
ran out the door.She held the big sack of her things and gave a big hard sigh.She walked on the side of the rode,past the school,and past the big
mountains.She stopped at a small,tan,and rather big yarded,house.She sighed again,as she tapped on the door.Katie's big wide eyes searched
Jen's bald head."Your bald! Hahahahaha!"She said slamming the door. Jen was very upset,but she knocked louder on the door this time.Katie
opened it,"What do you want bald eagle?"She insulted again.She may have been pretty,but she was as rude as ever!Jen's smaller eyes glanced up at
Katie,her beautiful face looking down at her. "I had enough of your crap,"Jen snapped back,"I have cancer," "Awww,poor baby!I have a hang-nail,
get over it!" Katie said looking behind herself at the living room.Jen handed her a note,then walked backwards. "Bye,"Jen sadly said.
Chapter 4:The Note
Katie held the note in her hands.She glanced out the door once more,then shut it. "Look,Jen gave me a note,pathetic,"Katie gave a cold smile.
"Leave her alone!" "Make me!" Jake stood up and looked at Katie."I don't know what I saw in you,but obvioustly it wasn't your heart,"Jake cried,
and opened the door."Don't leave,please!"Katie grasped his hand,and held it tightly."I'm leaving,"He twisted the handle and pulled."Jake please!"\
Katie called as he walked out the door.Katie shut the door with her back,and opened the note.It read,"Dear Katie,I hope you and I will get over this,
I hate to see either one of us hurt.Unfortunatly,someone will be hurt.Me.I know you don't like me very well,but if you'd like to come.Come to the
hospital.That would be great! Love,Jen""I will Jen,I promise with all my heart,I will be there!" Katie said closing the note,and held it to her
heart."I will Jen,I will now be a better person,for you,I swear Jen,I will,Just for you,"Katie sniffled and went to go buy something for Jen.
Chapter 5:Brianna's House
Jen finally reached her destination,Brianna's house.That is where she would be living,breathing,eating,and sleeping. Her parents wouldn't care,
they are just drunkies,who never cared about Jen. Brianna's eyes welcomed Jen. "Hey Jen,something wrong?" were Brianna's first words to Jen.
"No,I'm just tired,"Jen said shifting her bag on the right.The last thing Jen could remember was sleeping.When she awoke from her sleep,she
got dressed and headed for the road.Brianna would be meeting her there,at the hospital.Jen inhailed,and exhailed,inhailed,and exhailed.
Unfortunatly,it happened to fast.Before Jen knew it,she was having a heart attack,right there,on the side of the road.When she awoke again,she
was on a hospital bed,tubes in her noes,five faces staring down.Brianna looked down,tears in her eyes. Katie,also crying,put a pink bracelett on
Jen's wrist.Doctors were watching Jen,making sure she was breathing.
Chapter 6:Jake's last words
Jake looked down at Jen,lying in the hospital bed.He bent down and gave her a kiss,not much of a first kiss to remember.Jake looked at her,teary
eyed.He slowly reached in his pocket,pulling out a necklace.He put it on Jen,and said "Jen".She opened her eyes as if to say "Yeah?" "Listen Jen,I
know I have been a jerk,an idiot,but I'm really sorry,and I love you,and you are already perfect,I would never want you to change,All that
matters is your heart.And you know what?Your heart,is perfect.Please forgive me...please!"Beeeeeeep. That beeeep was the end.The end of a young
child's life.That child was and always will be remembered.
Chapter 7:Alexis
"She was the best sister in the whole wide world!" "Do,you miss her?" asked Billy."Well of course I do!"Alexis said."When did she,you know,pass
away?"Asked Sarah."Well actually,she "passed away" when Jake said that he loved her,and that she was perfect!"Alexis replied."So who was the
fifth and fourth person everytime they went to the hospital?" Asked Tiffany."That was actually me!"Alexis said happily.

~*~*~This is for People with Cancer,and for sister that lost their sister~*~*~

it's beautiful!
did u write that?

2/10 faaaarrrrrr to much dialogue

it was pretty weak. the first pasrt was good. stop explaining things and show them!!

um its a little teenagerish

WOAH! sorry but thats TOO LONG!!!
bsides ur on the wrong section

Uhh..sorry but I don't like it. It's a bit like a bad soap opera. Also, it was too, uh, "young sounding", I dunno if you know what I mean. Things happened too fast, like the heart attack and the shaving of her head (Actually, I may be wrong, but I thought cancer patients lost their hair GRADUALLY) I felt confused about a few things...on the plus side, though, I thought you have a good concept and I really do hope you continue to write, you've got potential! And, NO, it wasn't too long...it actually could have been longer. Peace. :)

I did not like I'm sorry and yes I did read it "leave me alone..make me....Jake looked up at Katie"..To me its too much like 2 teenage girls telling a story. That's only my opinion so please don't get offended

its good but you could have described more of Jen's feelings.

It's good.

i would give you (with 10 being best)

a 5/10



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