Have you ever dealt with someone who...?!
Question: whenever they are in the wrong they bring up everything they've done for you and try to put a guilt trip on you?
what did you do about it?
it is hard for me, because this person is family....
Answers: whenever they are in the wrong they bring up everything they've done for you and try to put a guilt trip on you?
what did you do about it?
it is hard for me, because this person is family....
ohhhh. You have a Flipper...Flipper....king of the sea...
The person is Flipping the confrontation back onto you. YOu can bat this idiocy aside by glaring hard at them as though they are three and tell them to quit flipping the subject, what they have done for you in the past is in the past and has NOTHING to do with HERE AND NOW. Example:
"Look, man...You are NOT going to flip this back onto me. The fact that you have done ANYthing for me in the past has NOTHING to do with the fact that right now, here and now,
YOU ARE WRONG!!! Your childish inability to be accountable for yourself is annoying, rude and downright IGNORANT and I am telling you as a member of your family I am NOT going to take it any more!!I refuse to feel guilty because YOU cannot handle being WRONG!!! You are not being sentaced to Death or condemned as a Leper, You are just WRONG. ALL of us are WRONG on occasion. Adults admit it. You are behaving like a child. We Spank children when they behave this way. Do you need a spanking?"
...........*reading what I wrote...* wow, that was pretty good...Memorise it if you lilke. If the individual keeps trying to FLip the confontation, Make loud nonsense noises at them to get them to stop and ORDER them to stop flipping the confrontation, "We're talking about YOU, Not anyone or anything else!" If they won't stop or get even more belligerant, tell them you refuse to deal with thier childish behavior and walk away. Literally walk away, and patently refuse to deal with them at all until they will listen. Sing the Flipper Theme song, too. That always pisses 'em off.....
"They call him Flipper! Flipper! King of the sea..."
yes, I ignore them
yes it hapened to me b4 all have to do is walk away
Well i tell them to stop being dick and point out eveything the done wrong if they try that **** luv but its your choice
Yes! And I just smile and say okay "keep believing that" and walk away smug.
I stab him/her in the back
NO I mean like >>LITERALLY
No i haven't*
yes
you cant argue with immaturity...read how to win an argument eveytime
yea i know what you mean...I always talk to this guy when things like that happen
215-475-5059
awwwwwwwww yes i know
i tell them what i did for them and remind them
it doesnt matter if its family
its not a life or death situation
is it
if it is ive never been in that situation ill have to try that today
ill tell u what happens lol good luck
yep i walked away or punchred them ,, x
oh i live with that person every single day! and that person is me!
Do what i do and distance yourself from them. I know its hard but you have to ask yourself, if they weren't related, would you want them as a friend??
Yes, but I don't have to live with my mother anymore, so I'm much happier
Oh God, yes I have...
Here's what I did, I stared at them for a moment, I blinked, then I was like "I've been thinking about that, and you know, the thing is... I really don't care" then I smiled at them and walked off ^-^
life is an adjustment so adjust
:0)
It is matter of self love, I bear as much as I can
Straight up tell them you have enough things going on right now, and you don't have time to feel guilty! Let them know that you are willing to talk in a mature manner without the guilt trip.
I'm sure you are grateful for the help, but this should not be used as a weapon to beat you up with - I call that emotional abuse!
Think of your guilt as resentment against this person and see if that helps you to deal with the situation any better.
I've had the reverse treatment from my mother, 'What have you ever done for me was/is her constant cry'. She is the MOST demanding person I have ever met and believe me as an ex nurse I've seen it all.
I endured decades of this abusive treatment and years of counselling to help me cope with it.
In the end I snapped and when she asked me that question I just replied 'f*** all'. That ended our relationship for the next three years and I did not feel one iota of guilt!
There comes a point where enough is enough!
She is back in my life but at arm's length - the fact she lives in another country helps enormously!