When in an argument, how fair is it for someone else to only tell one person to !
Question: Especially when the first salvo came from the other side.
For example, say you and your brother were fighting as kids and he just did not like something you said and said some mean angry words, and you defended yourself only by talking which made your brother angrier and he really lashed out at you. You defended yourself again but it did become heated this time and your mom only told you to stop fighting, not your brother. Then she amazingly claimed she was not taking sides.
Bring this into today as adults. You had a mutual friend who only told you to stop the fighting but never told the other guy to and as a matter of fact, she came off as supportive of the other guy who started it all to begin with.
How would you feel about any of the above?
Just doing a poll to see what you people thought. Thanks
Answers: Especially when the first salvo came from the other side.
For example, say you and your brother were fighting as kids and he just did not like something you said and said some mean angry words, and you defended yourself only by talking which made your brother angrier and he really lashed out at you. You defended yourself again but it did become heated this time and your mom only told you to stop fighting, not your brother. Then she amazingly claimed she was not taking sides.
Bring this into today as adults. You had a mutual friend who only told you to stop the fighting but never told the other guy to and as a matter of fact, she came off as supportive of the other guy who started it all to begin with.
How would you feel about any of the above?
Just doing a poll to see what you people thought. Thanks
Sadly enough life is not always fair as we often find out. I believe there comes a time when you have to just let something go and try not to keep thinking about whether it is fair or not!. You really can't control anyones actions but your own. I think a situation like this just keeps escalating. Pretty soon it gets far bigger than the original disagreement or intention.. Right or wrong, I would say give it up in your mind and have no further part in it!. Otherwise it really won't stop and it will continue to eat at you inside, whether you see it or not. And it surely will be like a snowball that keeps getting bigger and bigger . As two adults I don't think it's worth it no matter who is right or wrong anymore..
Believe me I have found myself in a situation where I had to refuse to be a part of a very bitter and unhappy situation in my real life because I saw what a bitter spirit did to someone I knew. ( they didn't start off that way) Right or wrong didn't matter, I just knew I would not allow it to touch my life and destroy me.
fighting sux azz!
move on babe, life is too short to dwell. =)
i always say with my folded hands"ok ok i win u lost" to end the argument'
Ignore the third party and continue to fight the one who offended you. After the fight then you can talk to the friend and explain.
feel bad since it sucks :'(
i accept her speaking but not immiditly
It's not fair at all and I would be mad at her but she might know which one is more reasonable or something.
I'd blow it off, then internalize it just like i did back then.
She is very obviously favoring one side over another. Even if she thinks you are wrong, she should tell you both to stop fighting, not just one side. In other words, she is a bigot and not to be trusted in her judgment at all.
I would feel slighted and wronged. What would I do? If this was a repeated occurence, I would learn that there is no changing this situation and hence, would detach and stop being reactive in my emotional feelings. It would only cause duress and an unsettling feeling. I'd let it die.
Just let it go..
I am sometimes "guilty"of that because I have two young children and when they start, they start. Meanwhile, I hear only my "bossy 8 year old daughter" and consequently, call only "her" name not my son's. She pointed the same thing out to me as you did. I am trying to change that, and speak and refer to "their" fights in "plural" from now on !
There comes a time that when I can't resolve a situation, no matter how terrible I might feel, I need to move on. This type of unfair situation has probably happened to all of us. We just have to let it go.