Your thoughts? We feel like we are being heartless but?!
Question: I know it's devasting when a family member dies. A coworkers' mother passed away well over one month ago. She took off 2 weeks. She was close to her mom. Her mom had been sick for many years and in and out of the hospital so they knew she was going to pass over. It wasn't an unexpected thing. No matter, I know it hurts.
Today, she got a call that her step father, who was going to wait to bury the ashes when it was warmer could not stand to have them in the house anymore and is going to bury them tomorrow. She broke down and was crying and running in the back room in hysterics. We all thought something disastrous happened as she is super close to all her kids and grandkids. She had to leave and won't be in tomorrow.
We all are questioning why all the theatrics now? The lady has been dead for over a month and her ashes have been on the TV for all that time.
Are we horrid or is she just playing a part? This lady has a history of playing parts very well.
Answers: I know it's devasting when a family member dies. A coworkers' mother passed away well over one month ago. She took off 2 weeks. She was close to her mom. Her mom had been sick for many years and in and out of the hospital so they knew she was going to pass over. It wasn't an unexpected thing. No matter, I know it hurts.
Today, she got a call that her step father, who was going to wait to bury the ashes when it was warmer could not stand to have them in the house anymore and is going to bury them tomorrow. She broke down and was crying and running in the back room in hysterics. We all thought something disastrous happened as she is super close to all her kids and grandkids. She had to leave and won't be in tomorrow.
We all are questioning why all the theatrics now? The lady has been dead for over a month and her ashes have been on the TV for all that time.
Are we horrid or is she just playing a part? This lady has a history of playing parts very well.
Both of my parents are deceased , so I know how hard it is to lose either one.I am sure she knew she had to deal with one more thing by burying the ashes of her Mother, but since it wasn't planned until warmer weather, she had put it "out of sight, out of mind". Plus, I am sure she has the normal everyday problems at home with husband, kids, gas prices, taxes, bill, etc. Not knowing what had been going on at home for her, this very well could have been the "straw to break the camel's back".I would give her the benefit of the doubt, and if at all possible, suggest she take the ashes to her house if she is not ready to deal with this last step of closure.
death is very upsetting. i dont think she is playing a part right now, and if she is i'd say there is a 10% chance she is.
Your not heartless she is just playing a part
I think the loss of a mother can be devastating. If my mom died, it would take me a loooooooong time to get past it. Maybe she felt that if the ashes were still there, that part of her mom was still there. It may have been comforting to her. Now that her step father wants to bury them. She may feel as if her mother is being taken away from her again. And that she will lose that sense of "comfort" she felt. She may be very good at dramatics, but no one can fake being dramatic over the death of a parent. So, no, you shouldnt be questioning anything at all. In fact, it really isn't anyones business but hers.
Just my opinion.
She may have dramatized it more than most would , but I'm sure she is very hurt ...
I totally agree with Lynn. I lost my mother 13 years ago and the pain is still there.
I remember the devastation and pain I had for the longest time. Try to give your coworker the benefit of the doubt.