Survey:: Do you ever just need to.....?!
Question: Survey:: Do you ever just need to!.!.!.!.!.!?
laugh until you cry!?
I do right now!.!.!.so someone PLEASE make me laugh!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
I do right now!.!.!.so someone PLEASE make me laugh!!!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Klitten's car gets a flat on the interstate one day!. She eases it over to the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out and opens the trunk!. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic!.
The lifelike men cardboard men are in trench coats exposing thier nude bodies and private parts to the oncoming cars!. Not surprisingly, traffic becomes snarled and backed up!.
It isn't long before a highway patrolman pulls up!. The officer, obviously pissed approaches Klitten and yells, "What in the hell is going on here!?!!!"
"My car broke down", Klitten responds calmly!.
"I can see that! What the hell are these obscene carboard pictures doing here on the side of the road!?!!!" He shouts!.
"Hellloooooo!!!" Klitten answers, "Those are my emergency flashers!"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
How do you get a nun pregnant!?
Fok her!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
The lifelike men cardboard men are in trench coats exposing thier nude bodies and private parts to the oncoming cars!. Not surprisingly, traffic becomes snarled and backed up!.
It isn't long before a highway patrolman pulls up!. The officer, obviously pissed approaches Klitten and yells, "What in the hell is going on here!?!!!"
"My car broke down", Klitten responds calmly!.
"I can see that! What the hell are these obscene carboard pictures doing here on the side of the road!?!!!" He shouts!.
"Hellloooooo!!!" Klitten answers, "Those are my emergency flashers!"
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
How do you get a nun pregnant!?
Fok her!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
well, something funny happened a few hours ago! I was at my friends house, and we were relaxing and talking, then her mobile phone rang and we answered it and it was a prank call! well they started swearing at us and then kept calling us back, and after about 4 times of calling us, they stopped calling and then my friends house phone rang, and it was her friend!.and then the person on the phone is like, 'hey, did you do anything interesting today!?' and my friends like 'no, not really, i just got a prank call!.' and the person on the phone was just calling to check if we were gonna call the cops about the prank, cause it was actually that person who was pranking us! so, the girl on the phone starts asking questions about the prank, and she's like 'did you call the cops!?' and my friends like 'yes i did' so she could get her scared! then the girl on the phone is like, 'i gotta go' straightaway after my friend said she called the cops! it was soooooooo funny and we were pissing ourselves laughing!. its so much fun when peoples pranks backfire!
xxxxWww@Enter-QA@Com
xxxxWww@Enter-QA@Com
I can't have my friends sad!. Here's a funny for you:
On a long international flight one of the plane's wings is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. 'I'm too young to die!' she wails!. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of excitement in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?' For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate creature in the front of the plane!.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. 'I can make you feel like a woman,' he says!. He's gorgeous!. Tall, well built, with long flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!.
He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest As he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, he whispers:
'Iron this!.'
he he he he he he! Hope this brings a smile!Www@Enter-QA@Com
On a long international flight one of the plane's wings is struck by lightning!. One woman in particular loses it!. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane!. 'I'm too young to die!' she wails!. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of excitement in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN!?!?' For a moment there is silence!. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate creature in the front of the plane!.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane!. 'I can make you feel like a woman,' he says!. He's gorgeous!. Tall, well built, with long flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time!. No one moves!. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches!.
He removes his shirt!. Muscles ripple across his chest As he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, he whispers:
'Iron this!.'
he he he he he he! Hope this brings a smile!Www@Enter-QA@Com
Here are a few funny questions I saw on y/a!.
"I just made a homemade tattoo gun with my friend but had no ink, so i just used pen ink, is that really bad!?"
POLL: Coke or Coke!.
Can I use regular bleach to whiten my teeth!?
LADIES: WHICH IS HARD TO FIND!?!? GOOD BRA OR A GOOD MAN!?!?
"Does anyone else put toilet paper in the tiolet bowl to cushion their poo!?!?!?"
"how do i rewind a DVD!. im afraid that if i take it back to the rental store that they will charge me for not rewinding it!. please help"
"Why Bill Gates not my father!?!?!?"
How do you become a ninja turtle!?
what is the deadliest wayy to kill a bowl of cereal!?" :]
"how does ink come out of pens!!?"
You popl hav to stop using th lttr "E"!. It is dply offnsiv to m!.!?
"OMG I can't see my forehead"
What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card!?
what if the pillsberry dough boy had a yeast infection
Is Disneyland the first ever human trap operated by a mouse!?
"Does santa have his nipple pierced!?"
I hope they made you smile!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
"I just made a homemade tattoo gun with my friend but had no ink, so i just used pen ink, is that really bad!?"
POLL: Coke or Coke!.
Can I use regular bleach to whiten my teeth!?
LADIES: WHICH IS HARD TO FIND!?!? GOOD BRA OR A GOOD MAN!?!?
"Does anyone else put toilet paper in the tiolet bowl to cushion their poo!?!?!?"
"how do i rewind a DVD!. im afraid that if i take it back to the rental store that they will charge me for not rewinding it!. please help"
"Why Bill Gates not my father!?!?!?"
How do you become a ninja turtle!?
what is the deadliest wayy to kill a bowl of cereal!?" :]
"how does ink come out of pens!!?"
You popl hav to stop using th lttr "E"!. It is dply offnsiv to m!.!?
"OMG I can't see my forehead"
What happens if you get a paper cut from a Get Well card!?
what if the pillsberry dough boy had a yeast infection
Is Disneyland the first ever human trap operated by a mouse!?
"Does santa have his nipple pierced!?"
I hope they made you smile!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
You know how honest children can be when they speak!. My youngest scares me at times with her brutal honesty in public!. This morning we were speaking with the neighbor!. My daughter was talking about going to the dentist, next thing I know, she tells my neighbor his teeth are yellow!. Like that wasn't enough she added yellow like pee!.lol!. I could have just died but he busted out out laughing and so did I, with a sigh of relief!.
I hope your day gets better!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
I hope your day gets better!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Rango jumps up on the table and does a pole dance for you,
if that doesnt make you laugh !. !. !. !. !. !. !. !. I am sooo embarassedWww@Enter-QA@Com
if that doesnt make you laugh !. !. !. !. !. !. !. !. I am sooo embarassedWww@Enter-QA@Com
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple!?
Getting raped!
That's horrible and irrelevant, but the twisited humor always manages to make an uptight person like myself laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
Getting raped!
That's horrible and irrelevant, but the twisited humor always manages to make an uptight person like myself laugh!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
What do you call a dog with no back legs, and steel balls!?
(Sparky)
What do you call a bull masturbating!?
(Beef-Strokinoff)
That is as clean as it folks!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
(Sparky)
What do you call a bull masturbating!?
(Beef-Strokinoff)
That is as clean as it folks!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
remember that night when you caught me outside your bathroom window pullin it while peepin and it ended up bein your old man movin behind the frosted glass shower door instead!.!.!.that shotgun scared the sh!t out of me girlWww@Enter-QA@Com
Sometimes when i juggle i accidently mix in office furniture
(?s)Www@Enter-QA@Com
(?s)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Did you know the average mans ejaculation has only 18 calories!?!.!.!.xxxWww@Enter-QA@Com
Did you hear about the guy with herpies on his eyebrows, looking for love in all the wrong placesWww@Enter-QA@Com
last Sunday when it was 90 out I took a walk around my block barefoot and people thought I was crazy but I didn't care I hate to wear shoes and only wear them when I have toWww@Enter-QA@Com
Yes, G!.This is what makes my life bearable!.I need people who are fun and funny!.And people who understand me!.=)Www@Enter-QA@Com
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road!?
Because he had no guts!.!.!.!.
Okay that was very corny!.!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
Because he had no guts!.!.!.!.
Okay that was very corny!.!.!.!.lolWww@Enter-QA@Com
found to, kitten older cat like themWww@Enter-QA@Com
i do!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
yes lol, i would but i dont have anything funny to say soz :(Www@Enter-QA@Com
Board Penis
One day, when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters!. She turned to the class, scanned the boys and girls, looking for the guilty face!. Finding not a guilty face in the bunch, she quickly erased the blackboard and began her class!.
The next day, the teacher went into the classroom and noticed, in larger letters this time, the word "penis" scrolled on the blackboard!. Again, she looked around the classroom in vain for the culprit, but found none!. And so, the teacher erased the blackboard and proceeded with the day's lesson!.
Every morning, for about a week, the teacher went into the classroom and found the same word written on the blackboard, each day, scrolled larger than the previous day!.
Finally, one day, the teacher walked into the classroom expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board!. Instead, she found scrolled on the blackboard: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Money Maths
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have!?
Ted: $10!.
Teacher: You don't know maths!.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Education for the dim-witted!.
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars!.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol!.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke!.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm!.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil!.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead!.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead!.
Third worm in sperm - dead!.
Fourth worm in soil - alive!.
So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment!?"
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms!."
A holey hunch!.
One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese!. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it!.
"Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese!."
"That's okay," she said!. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate!."
Poetic Praise
Lina and Collin were having candle-light dinner!.
Collin said, "Pass the wine u divine"
Lina thinks "How poetic"
Then Lina says, "Pass the custard, you bastard!."
Blondie
I went to the movies the other night and sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier!. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out!.
"Excuse me!. Sorry! Oops!. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry!. Oops! Excuse me!."
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier!?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper!. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car!."
Guiding Gits!.
A man is walking his dog in a park when he meets another man, also walking his dog!. They say hello and start to talk about their dogs!. One has a chihuahua and the other a doberman!.
They decide to rest for coffee and they walk into a local cafe!. Upon seeing a 'no animals allowed' sign, the man with the doberman says
"Don't worry, put on these dark glasses!. We'll pretend these are our guide dogs"!.
So the men do this and go into the cafe!. When the waiter comes over, he says to the man with the doberman "I'm sorry sir, but we do not allow animals in here!. You'll have to take that dog outside!."
"But this is my guide dog," says the man!.
"A doberman! A doberman isn't a guide dog," says the waiter!.
"Actually, a doberman is particularly suited to being a guide dog nowadays!. They provide lots of security and they are very well mannered!."
"Oh, alright then," says the waiter, and then he notices the other dog!. "Excuse me sir, but you can't have that dog in here," he says to the other man!.
"Oh yes I can, this is my guide dog" says the man!.
"But that dog is a chihuahua! A chihuahua isn't a guide dog!" says the waiter!.
The man exclaims "what, they gave me a chihuahua!?!"Www@Enter-QA@Com
One day, when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters!. She turned to the class, scanned the boys and girls, looking for the guilty face!. Finding not a guilty face in the bunch, she quickly erased the blackboard and began her class!.
The next day, the teacher went into the classroom and noticed, in larger letters this time, the word "penis" scrolled on the blackboard!. Again, she looked around the classroom in vain for the culprit, but found none!. And so, the teacher erased the blackboard and proceeded with the day's lesson!.
Every morning, for about a week, the teacher went into the classroom and found the same word written on the blackboard, each day, scrolled larger than the previous day!.
Finally, one day, the teacher walked into the classroom expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board!. Instead, she found scrolled on the blackboard: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
Money Maths
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have!?
Ted: $10!.
Teacher: You don't know maths!.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Education for the dim-witted!.
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars!.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol!.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke!.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm!.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil!.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead!.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead!.
Third worm in sperm - dead!.
Fourth worm in soil - alive!.
So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment!?"
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms!."
A holey hunch!.
One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese!. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it!.
"Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese!."
"That's okay," she said!. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate!."
Poetic Praise
Lina and Collin were having candle-light dinner!.
Collin said, "Pass the wine u divine"
Lina thinks "How poetic"
Then Lina says, "Pass the custard, you bastard!."
Blondie
I went to the movies the other night and sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier!. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out!.
"Excuse me!. Sorry! Oops!. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry!. Oops! Excuse me!."
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier!?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper!. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car!."
Guiding Gits!.
A man is walking his dog in a park when he meets another man, also walking his dog!. They say hello and start to talk about their dogs!. One has a chihuahua and the other a doberman!.
They decide to rest for coffee and they walk into a local cafe!. Upon seeing a 'no animals allowed' sign, the man with the doberman says
"Don't worry, put on these dark glasses!. We'll pretend these are our guide dogs"!.
So the men do this and go into the cafe!. When the waiter comes over, he says to the man with the doberman "I'm sorry sir, but we do not allow animals in here!. You'll have to take that dog outside!."
"But this is my guide dog," says the man!.
"A doberman! A doberman isn't a guide dog," says the waiter!.
"Actually, a doberman is particularly suited to being a guide dog nowadays!. They provide lots of security and they are very well mannered!."
"Oh, alright then," says the waiter, and then he notices the other dog!. "Excuse me sir, but you can't have that dog in here," he says to the other man!.
"Oh yes I can, this is my guide dog" says the man!.
"But that dog is a chihuahua! A chihuahua isn't a guide dog!" says the waiter!.
The man exclaims "what, they gave me a chihuahua!?!"Www@Enter-QA@Com