Words of wisdom for this holiday?!

Words of wisdom for this holiday?

He who drinks a fifth on the fourth may not go forth on the fifth.

That's a good one! Moreso true than funny!
He who sleep in cathouse by night, sleep in doghouse by night.
He who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crumby.
He who eat ice cream in car is Sundae Driver.
He who close window on head, get pane in neck.
He who stand on toilet is high on pot.
He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
He who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs.
He who masturbates into cash register, come into money.