How to get rid off jehovahs or mormons from my front door?!
Question:
How to get rid off jehovahs or mormons from my front door?
Tell me any funny stories.
Also its a bad idea to give lsd to jehovahs they start talking twice as fast.
Answers: wow have i gotta story for you.......when i was a child growing up here in rural WV i remember my dad using a shotgun to get rid of Jehovah witnesses(he would shoot up in the air and tell them to get the heck off his property).......well jump 20 years in the future......my husband and i have gotten our first place and sure enough not long after we move in the witnesses start knocking on our door. The first few times i tried to politely tell them i wasn't interested...however you know how they can be persistent....anyway about the third time this couple of Jehovah witnesses came to my door...i told them once again that i wasn't interested and that i was raised up with the perception that Jehovah witnesses were more of a cult than a religion...when they asked "what do you mean you were raised that way"....i told them about how my dad couldn't get a couple of Jehovah witnesses to quit coming around, so he got the shotgun and....that's when i stopped talking....the man and woman's faces took on a shocked look and before i could say anything else they both said at the same time ....."oh my that was us!" ....my only reply was "well i see you get my point, have a good day!...I never saw them again....lol
SO THERE YA GO A SURE "FIRE" WAY TO GET RID OF JEHOVAH WITNESSES! When they try to offer me materials through the barely opened door, I offer them a copy of Victor Stenger's 'God: the failed hypothesis. How science proves God does not exist'. I tell them if they read my book first, then I'll read theirs.
Another I do is based on seeing what an Australian comedian did: ask them if they've ever considered atheism and keep it on topic. When you answer the door and they launch into their speech..... politely say, "thank you, i have my religion." and close the door. They won't stay long, talking to a closed door. I asked them if they have read the writings of Satan. It was a fair question since they asked me if I read the writings of God. I went into a sermon about Noe Good Can exist without Evil and you cannot define Good without the existance of Evil to counterbalance. They damn near died on my doorstep as I closed the door in their blank faces. NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN! Start taking off your clothes, one garment at a time.
I'll guarantee they're gone before you get to your undies. At times, a question such as this will elicit dozens and dozens of elaborate schemes to spare a householder an unwanted conversation with Jehovah's Witness door-to-door ministers.
All such schemes are a complete and utter waste of time!
Many of your neighbors have figured it out, and it's really quite simple:
1. Open the door
2. Smile (optional)
3. Ask "Jehovah's Witness?"
4. Receive affirmation
5. Say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested"
6. Gently close the door (slamming is rude, but your prerogative)
Please recognize that Jehovah's Witnesses are not primarily interested in converts, but in working to obey Jesus' command to preach (Matt 24:14; Matt 28:19,20).
Learn more:
http://watchtower.ca/e/jt/index.htm?arti...
http://jw-media.org/people/ministry.htm... Affect a dazed and strung-out face, bordering on madness- and tell them you worship the great lord satan and you're going to mention door-to-door religion peddlers at your next coven. My friend once told me that whenever they knock on his door he makes it a point to answer in his boxers with a beer and a cigarette. He doesn't drink and he doesn't smoke but he likes to prove a point. If you ask them the questions about religion.
I heard that they don't like to answer questions only preach to you.
Another trick I heard is say the Hail Mary - they don't believe that Jesus is the son of Mary. The day Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door my life changed forever. I stopped fornicating, using drugs, and became a better person. I got married and baptized as a Jehovah's Witness in Aug 1996.
We have been married for 11 years now and just had a baby boy :O) My life has meaning now and my life has a purpose.
If it was not for Jehovah's Witnesses coming by I would be dead or locked up in prison. I learned the truth and I'm so thankful that Jehovah sent his people to my door to help me when no one else even cared !!!
You should have respect for Jehovah's Witnesses. We are trying to help you.
Have a nice day. When the JW's come to my door, I present them with a missionary copy of the Book of Mormon and tell them I will read their stuff if they read mine. You may think you are funny. I too though it was hilarious.
However since listening and subsequently studing the Bible and becoming baptised I know that this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life has true meaning now and I have such a sense of inner peace.It is wonderful to understand the Bible and know the answers to questions that are plaguing mankind today.
Do yourself a favor - next time they call.Listen to them.Let them use the Bible to prove to you that what they are saying is from Jehovah God.It is to your benefit for now and forever (Matt.24:14)