What is the funniest joke you've heard lately? I NEED a good laugh!!?!
Question: A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
C. :)!!
Answers: A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
C. :)!!
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steeringwheel attached to his penis. Bartender asks "Is that a steeringwheel on your penis?!" Irishman says "Yeah, it's driving me nuts..." ; )
um hahaha not
A man wanted to see what his wife's life was like so he prayed to God and asked for him to turn him into his wife for one day. He woke up in his wife's body the next day. He was so happy that he didn't have to go to work and all he had to do was take care of their 3 year old daughter. He didn't realize how much his wife did and how much he took her for granted. Then when his wife came home from work they made love. Later that night he asked God to change him back. God said, "I can't do that" and the man asked why not. God then replied "You're pregnant!"
Placing Your Order
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
I personally always get a good laugh from blonde jokes. [i'm close to blonde and always have my blonde moments, and yes, sometimes don't understand the jokes *smiles* but it's always a good laugh]
Here's a GREAT blonde jokes website. You'll just keep reading and reading =] http://www.ahajokes.com/blonde_jokes.htm...
Here's my personal favorite: http://www.ahajokes.com/blo063.html
HAPPY NEW YEAR! =]
This is my husband's newest one.
One day an atheist is walking through the forest on a nature hike when he becomes aware that he has drawn the attention of a grizzly bear. He begins to run for his life, but quickly realizes he will never be able to outrun the bear. As he's running, he hollers out, "Lord, I know I have never believed in you, but if you're up there, please help me out." Suddenly, time freezes, and God appears in front of the man. "My son, you've been an atheist all your life," says God. "Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical to call on me now in your time of desperate need?" The man looks down at his shoes and shrugs his shoulders in shame. "I guess you're right, Lord," he says. He continues, "But could you just help me out this one time? How about you turn the bear into a Christian?" The Lord agrees to do so, and then time unfreezes, and things start moving again. The man is so relieved he stays where he is standing. He turns back to the bear just in time to see it kneel down and clasp its paws together as it growls, "Lord, thank you for providing me with the delicious meal I am about to receive."