Is this your kind of Office Dictionary?!
Question: "COMPETITIVE SALARY":
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY":
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY":
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL":
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED":
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON":
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE":
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST":
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS":
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS":
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE":
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES":
I hope you don't ask me about all the Jobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK":
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE":
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
"I AM ADAPTABLE":
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO":
I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED":
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
Answers: "COMPETITIVE SALARY":
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY":
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY":
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL":
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED":
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON":
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE":
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST":
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS":
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS":
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE":
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES":
I hope you don't ask me about all the Jobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK":
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE":
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
"I AM ADAPTABLE":
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO":
I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED":
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
hahahaha
YOU'RE UNDER-QUALIFIED FOR THIS POSITION.
"You're thick!"
YOU'RE OVER-QUALIFIED FOR THIS POSITION.
"You make me look thick!"
hey. this is great babe. read it before. still i had a laugh at some meanings. but true indeed. isnt it?
I love you cuty
lol..brilliant..xx..?
Thanks for the laugh. Don't even get me started on the workplace, managers etc. I've been working for myself for 5 years now- it's fab.
I have my own office dictionary.
To customer- 'I've a meeting this morning but then i'll get that done for you, make it a priority'
(I'm in my dressing gown right now having a glass of wine- and watching a film this afternoon- so I'll get it done about 11.30pm) (hehe)
i like those brilliant.
excellent list
iv'e just read the dictionary,
the zebra did it.